An interesting dance partner (via the sol provider)
Mr. Awkward Pants puts on a show (via danish principle)
Senior year (via big boobies basement)
The serpent beckons (via double fucked by two black studs)
Sex can be awkward #59: montage
October 21st, 2011 § 0
Art can be awkward #10: the apex
October 16th, 2011 § 0
Artistic freedom leads to the creation of hideously distorted sex objects, illustrated Barbies.
Speaking of Barbie:
via the sol provider
Bad positions: tit fucking x2
October 15th, 2011 § 0
via the sol provider
Look, just because your wiener is touching the tit doesn’t make it tit fucking.
3 things to do with a big ass
October 6th, 2011 § 0
Bad positions: from behind
October 2nd, 2011 § 0
via the sol provider
Shoes…
September 24th, 2011 § 0
Where are you, Mr. Henry, Mr. Conor?
September 17th, 2011 § 0
The mechanized children of the industrial revolution arose in the close of the 19th century. They were bulky machines, suited only to the coarsest of tasks. But progress is a cruel exponential, and by the early 21st century machines have taken over the dearest of man’s activities: fucking.
via demon seed
via the sol provider
They’re thrust are tireless, they’re phallic shells both long and girthy. How can a human cock, a feeble blood-ballon stapled to the end of the pelvis, compete?
The singularity will add another threat: the orgasmic techniques learned by the machines of today will undo us entirely.
We need a John. Either a hard-driving man of steel, our ages John Henry or a future rebel who can fight the machines: John Connor.
Planes, trains & automobiles
August 18th, 2011 § 0
1987 saw a train collision and subway fire, two ferry crashes–including the sinking of the MV Doña Paz with casualties estimated at 4000–and at least 6 airline crashes.
It was also a good year for insanity. On January 22nd Budd Dwyer uses a televised press conference as an opportunity to kill himself with a revolver. Less than a month later the Unabomber’s second package detonates in Salt Lake City, injuring the owner of a computer store. In April the Klaus Barbie trial begins. 19 year old Julian Knight kills 7 people in Melbourne.
But on November 25th the mood was lifted with the release of Planes, Trains & Automobiles. The John Hughes holiday comedy stars Steve Martin as Neal Page, an overworked advertising executive desperate to get home to Chicago for Thanksgiving. His travels are thwarted by bad weather, bad luck and Del Griffith, a “shower-ring salesman” played by John Candy. Griffith, initially the comedic foil to Page’s well-coifed by still seething anger eventually emerges as a psychotic buffoon, nearly killing the duo several times.
The movie ramps to the final happy ending, where Page parts with Griffith on good terms and returns to his family.
But this ending is faux as Page, infected with nostalgia and Stockholm Syndrome, returns to the empty train station to find a lone Griffith waiting for him. Griffith admits that he is alone, his wife having died 9 years ago. Page invites Griffith back to his home. They return to Page’s home together and the movie ends.
Less known is that there were actually several sex scenes in the original script. Some of these were shot but were later cut and the film “accidentally” destroyed. All that survives are still pictures (mostly candid shots by people on the set) and the descriptions of the scenes by an anonymous source close to the project. These scenes added up to a different movie which actually featured an extended ending.
Plane
via ducudubo
This scene was in the plane leg. When John Candy [Griffith] boarded the plane he looks on and sees the plane empty. He looks down the aisle and sees a single brunette head on the port side. He walks down the aisle and turns to her, seeing that she is nude and beautiful. She turns to him, smiles and opens her mouth to speak. “Excuse me” she says in an annoyed man’s voice. Candy startles and realizes he’s stopped in the middle of the aisle on a crowded plane. Steve Martin [Page] is behind him, trying to get by.
Anonymous
Automobile
via belladonnarocks
In the car, Candy [Griffith] turns to Martin [Page] only to find that he is now the same naked brunette from the airplane. “I want to suck your big thick cock, Del” she says “But I’m driving. This will have to do”. She brings a big sex toy to her mouth and starts to shove it into her mouth. “Marie…” Candy says. The scene cuts to Martin turning to look at Candy. “Did you say something?” he asks.
Marie is the name of Griffith’s wife (previously referenced in stories Candy told to Martin), revealing that Candy is having waking hallucinations of his wife.
Anonymous
Train
via mr. mcnasty
In the original script, Candy [Griffith] leaves the train station. He boards the subway but his way up the aisle is blocked by Marie [Griffith's wife] kneeling on the chairs, facing Candy. Martin [Page] approaches her from the other side (the snap shows an extra who was asked to stand-in to set-up the shot while Martin was in makeup). He pulls out his penis and starts to penetrate her from behind, staring straight at the camera. “I’m fucking your wife” Martin says to Candy. “And she loves it.”
Marie moans and then looks at Candy. “It’s so nice to be fucked by a real man. A man with a big thick cock who isn’t a complete loser. You’re nothing, Del. You should have been the one who was killed.”
Candy comes too when some teenage hoodlums shove him from behind. “Get the fuck off of me!” Candy screams at them and shoves the leader. Startled they retreat. Candy then waits by the door to leave the subway and catch the reverse back to the original train station where he waits for Martin to return.
Anonymous
End
In Hughes’ original ending, Candy [Griffith] walks into Martin’s [Page's] house after him, pulls out a sap and is seen swinging it at the back of Martin’s head. A female voice says “Oh hi…” and then screams.
The next scene shows Martin waking up tied to a dining room chair. He wakes up and jerks against his restraints in horror. The camera switches to show Candy at a table covered with body parts, eating them.
“You didn’t have to fuck her” Candy says to a confused Martin.
“Why?” Martin screams back “why did you kill her?” he asks referring to his own wife.
“I didn’t kill her!” Candy replies “you killed her the second you put your dick in her.”
Martin begins to cry. Through his tears repeats “You killed her… you killed her…”
“No you killed her!” Candy screams standing up. He freezes as he enters a dream sequence where he sees hands wrapped around Marie’s neck, choking her. The camera turns to reveal that it was Candy who killed his wife. He rips the carving knife out of an unidentified piece of corpse and stabs himself into the neck. He falls to the ground gasping & gurgling while Martin continues to sob.
The scene cuts there, ending the movie. There was no credit or exit music.
Anonymous
Sex can be awkward #52
August 16th, 2011 § 0
Meanwhile, on location in Hawaii…
via demon seed
Bad positions: fucking in a chair
August 15th, 2011 § 0
Though it let’s you use her like a giant Fleshlight (if that’s what you’re into).
via demon seed