Catboy SPEAKS!

Only twice has a woman made me feel inadequate. The first time was when I saw Chyna’s clitoris [NSFW]. The second is when I saw this picture:

via just for fun

And I thought dick nipples [NSF*] were mythological, existing solely in the minds of scatalogical 30-something virginal Japanese manga artists.

Just For Fun seems to be quite nippletastic in general. They’ve got lactating Daisy:

via just for fun

Puffy Faye Reagan/Valentine:

via just for fun

And a few other random bitches young women women:

via just for fun

via just for fun

And while we’re on it, here’s my previous treatise on the subject: Fantatsic Mams 18.

via reddit

This picture of Daisy van Heyden sent me searching for more. I found this pre-pregnancy set. Man, kids can change your nips. Check out this before pic:

via redblow

Although I love the young Daisy–something I’ve covered before–I get weak for those angry red nips. But I guess I already admitted that. Just to drive it home, here’s a few more ruby-red Daisy shots, including one for you milk fetishists:

via nudecelebforum

via nudecelebforum

You can check out the sets at nudecelebforum and make up your own mind.

In the midst of my frantic masturbation I noticed that Redblow also had a nice Chloe set (something I also already covered):

via redblow

I’ve often thought that eastern european women–Chloe & Daisy are both German–have larger than average knockers, especially normalized for body size. I started stepping through some of old posts:

1. Milena Velba (Czechoslovakia) and Tanya Song (Russia)
2. Tanya Song (Russia)
3. Bea Flora (Poland) and Aneta Buena (Poland)
4. Katerina Hartlova (Czech Republic), Marie (Germany) & Nadine Jensen (Germany
5. Katerina Hartlova (Czech Republic) & Marie (Germany)
6. Merilyn Sakova (Russia)
7. Milena Velba (Czechoslovakia) & Miosotis (Dominican Republic)

Ok, so Miosotis isn’t exactly european. Neither is this lady from the aptly named titfucker’s heaven:

via titfuckers heaven

And of course there’s also September Carrino… I considered trying to look for breast size statistics (another recurring theme) but by this time my determination had left with my ejaculate.

Do your own research.

1. Boobpedia
2. Milena Velba’s homepage
3. Nadine Jensen’s homepage
4. Bettie Ballhaus’s homepage
5. busty.pl

I saw that. It made me cry. I have all the action shots of her from before, and it was amazing.

The saddest part is when you think about why. She plays tennis. She’ll likely play tennis for awhile, but she will stop, and considering this is sport, she will sop relatively young. Her boobs will not suddenly return when she does. She could have bought better bras and/or bound them for a few years only during games, but to remove them all together for the sake of it? It’s a permanent solution for a temporary problem.

They were DDs, which is the average size in the nation. The fact that people feel the need to get that reduced makes me sad.

funkengruven88

(emphasis added)

DD? Maybe in Poland. I originally thought funkengruven88 was referring to the average Romanian boob size, which sounds more plausible. I found out later he was just confused but only after I’d wasted time trying to google the size of the average Romanian knocker.

In very related news, a tennis player got her tits cut off (via reddit).

At first I didn’t think it was that big a deal:

But then I looked at some other pictures:

When I got to this Sports by Brook shot I was really considering it a loss:

But then I remembered that I had the whole internet. Whew!

PS: Hey, there’s no nudity in this post at all. What is wrong with me?

I’ve already shown off Milena Velba’s fantastic mams as well as her self & partnered sucking so you know I like her. But… well, maybe her tits are just a little too big. Thanks to collect the set (via reddit) I present some proof.

1) Clothing doesn’t fit:

2) They’re bigger than her head:

3) And they’re heavy:

But then you meet her friends and…

OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. I guess maybe they’re not so big in comparison.

What does the lady herself have to say?

Yes they are natural!
..and NO! I have no back pain.
36 J-cup is the size I need and
I am proud of it. If you have time,
I would be glad to show you more of
who is behind the JJs.

Milena Velba

You’ve got to appreciate that spirit.

via reddit (also check out the animated gif on Deviant Art)

Persistent readers may have noticed that my taste in pictures veers towards the humorously bizarre. But sometimes I run across a picture and think “that lady is really easy on the eyes.” This is one such picture. Here are a few others from the back-catalog:

• En pointe
• Vaginal stimulation using a double-headed dildo
• Breakfast in bed

The first two pics are easily understood: they feature beautiful women with amazing bodies, in some cases fucking themselves with giant double-headed dildos.

The last image disturbs me. I stared at it almost daily when I first found it. Still, every time I see it I pause to think “she’s like a small plastic sex doll with hair like medusa, except it only turns my cock to stone. She might actually be living inside my soul right now.”

23, 5’3″, 96 lbs, 32A. I don’t feel sexy. Reddit, should I get breast implants?

itty_bitty

Answer most similar to my response:

Nope. You look great. Work on your self esteem. Not your tits.

sixdollarshirt

Funny though incorrect:

Physics degree = way sexier than bigger breasts.

davvblack

Smartest response:

hmmm im not sure yet can you post a few more pics so i can determine properly?

newmoneyplease

via reddit

Reddit is not my goto for onastic material but you can find some interesting things. Unfortunately, you can also find lots of internet douchebaggery:

Not to be an ass, but how would that even work?! I wouldn’t quite know what the hell is going on if I ran into it.

Gentlemen, help me out, have you ever ran into such meatcurtains? And what is it like? I currently live in perpetual fear of running into this with a girl that I’m otherwise attracted to.

PostGirls

Seriously? You live in fear of small, sexy, foreign women with big pussy lips? I’m tempted to spend time searching fark for the picture of the nerdy guy with the caption that says something like “her knees are too knobby I would not hit it”.

jbutton goes on to add:

I have a theory about this (because seriously, before I saw those pictures on the internet I had no idea tits and vaginas could look athat [sic] heinous- and I’ve been with a good amount of women):

It’s because you’re probably good-looking. “Perfect” girls who know they have everything in the right place will gravitate towards good-looking men while the “mis-shaped” ones (for lack of a better term) will worry about being rejected by good-looking men because of their less-than-stellar attributes. So I presume these average women won’t project a vibe or send out any signals to good-looking men for fear of being rejected after (or during) the first roll in the hay.

jbutton

Clearly these gentlemen are just too handsome to have ever encountered dangly lips (or non-perfect tits); they’re not just bored 16 year olds who’ve seen the majority of their vaginas in shining RGB.

Now I had my fun teasing her about her dangly labia, but really I would fuck her until my dick melted. And I’m actually kind of picky (now, not when I was 22)! It makes me wonder what is so different between me and PostGirls/jbutton. My best guess is that 1) I don’t need to pay an extra deposit when renting a car and 2) I’m not a complete asshole. On a more serious note, this helps me understand–though not believe–the claims that certain portrayals of women gives men unrealistic expectations of beauty.

Ignoring the general sexist sentiments, I think I’m most irritated by their lack of scientific reasoning. I suppose it’s possible that big pussy lipped women are cowering in their homes, afraid to show their genitals to handsome men. But I would propose another, more Occam friendly, theory: most labia aren’t that big. That explains why you don’t see it so often and hence why PostGirls and jbutton see it as abnormal. It’s harder to imagine a post like “what’s up with all these inner labia that don’t even hang past the outer labia? I have slept with like thousands of women and they’ve all been absolute droopers!”

The good part about the internet is that one person’s disgust is another’s pervert’s fetish. Reese & Vix are such perverts and they have a post & image gallery all about Dasha.

Truly heartwarming.

via wikipedia :: reddit

This image should be recreated using vector graphics as an SVG file. This has several advantages; see Commons:Media for cleanup for more information. If an SVG form of this image is already available, please upload it. After uploading an SVG, replace this template with {{vector version available|new image name.svg}}.

Wikipedia

Persons skilled in SVG should be able to trace the PNG. If someone would rather trace an actual photo, I’m looking for a busty volunteer. I’d also need a photographer, whom need not be busty but it’s a plus.

If you’d rather help financially, Wikipedia is in the middle of a funding drive and I encourage you to contribute. Where else can you find information on mammary intercourse and pearl necklaces?

Is it worth it? Is it?

Dear Reader,

As an author, I often feel as though my words are wasted on the inky darkness of the internet. Is anyone even listening? I ask myself, whiskey in hand. That’s why it’s so rewarding to receive feedback. Imagine my surprise when said feedback came in response to the single most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen on the internet. I was slightly less surprise that it came in the form of comments caught in my spam filter. But I digress. Without further ado, a public response to you, my audience.

Последний абзац в тему!

But there’s no paragraphs at all! And the topic, if there is one, is that fat chicks covered in pasta negate the visual effect of fellatio. Did you mean to link to another post?

Хорошая масль, вообще молодцы!

Actually I would say that baby oil is better than olive for masturbatory purposes, “extra-virgin” pun be damned.

Интересно, я попробую.

I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I strongly discourage you from trying this at home. First of all you must shrink your penis (making some assumptions, of course). Second you must waste perfectly good linguini alfredo. Finally you must leave your genitals next to a hungry fat woman; there’s a very real chance she may mistake your member for a wurst (or more likely a vienna sausage, see above) and devour it.

Кажется, это подойдет.

Yes, Смирнов, I agree. It will do.

Well, dear readers, I hope you’ve enjoyed our little chat. Until next time, keep your head down and your tail up.