Catboy SPEAKS!

…but can you be too thin?

To even begin to answer the question we have to clarify: too thin for what? Since this is my blog the question is simple: can someone be too thin for me to want to fuck them.

NO.

In fact I’m actually a bit worried I fetishize tiny women, I frequently find my eyes either lost in this little Medusa’s burning hot vaginal folds or stroking the bulging genitals of my favorite 80-pound sex-toy. But it is a trade-off. For one thing I enjoy some curves and as weight decreases the chances of T&A turn grim:

via urban sex brigade

via come girls

(There are of course counter examples.) For another, you have to be ready for bony protrusions:

via bizarre bazaar

Then, there’s science. According to Ok Cupid’s data scientists: “Curvy women pass skinny ones in self-confidence at age 29 and never look back. They also consistently have the highest sex drive among the groups.” This matches my empirical findings: maybe it’s the estrogen levels, but curvy girls are horny.

But on the positive side, thin girls are thin. This not only let’s you throw them around the bed, it also produces nice aesthetics of scaling: moderate breasts look large on a small frame

via an emotional unveiling is necessary

And big breasts…

via an emotional unveiling is necessary

The lack of body fat generally means the outer labia are withdrawn and the inner thighs don’t touch, revealing juicy genital detail:

via the sol provider

And from the male point of view, a tiny girl gives you the appearance of a bigger dick:

via urban sex brigade

And balls:

via urban sex brigade

And when you cum, it’s much easier to cover a smaller surface area:

via urban sex brigade

It’s enough of a balance that I’ll stick with the advice of Frank Booth.

Porn makes you stupid and impotent, or so this guy says. He has a point, I am no longer excited by women unless they have giant horse cocks.

But I recently discovered another damaging effect of pornography: crosswords. Exhibit A:

I later realized they were probably looking for “DOUGH”. Why would I jump to the conclusion that it was “BOOBS”? Maybe it has something to do with pornography…

via big boobies basement

via come girls

via ducodubo

via an emotional unveiling is necessary

We’ve already seen awkward penises and awkward black penises. Here’s more:

Cozy (via 8=D)

Cock on the cob (via girls+dicks)

via big boobies basement

Art photography has many goals but pornographic photography, like a product shoot, has one: make the subject look amazing. Like all art this magic is achieved by alchemically combining simple the elements: composition, angle, lighting, etc.

Mostly, this is a complete failure.

Then there is this:

Shione Cooper (via mmmh!)

There are some problems–the white-balance is too cool and the composition breaks the photo into two halves: face and tits–but let’s look at what’s done right. The shallow depth of field makes her face the focus, neatly extracting it from the clutter of the camera, the cock and the background of sleazy, overweight man-flesh. Yet that same camera, cock & background set the scene: Shione is kneeling in a circle of men holding either cocks or cameras. The cum on her face reveals that this isn’t the beginning, but the ready camera to the left & cock to the right reveal that the scene isn’t over: there’s lots more semen yet to be shot on Shione.

The framing of her dark hair and the cum drip hanging from her chin draws the eye down to the second half of the photo: her tits. Were the picture cropped at her sternum you might imagine Shione as a skinny pseudo-goth hipster, instead she’s got the full tits of a MILF but without the stretch marks. Cum ties the halves together, her cum covered titties mirror her cum covered face reinforcing that the photo is about sexual release, including the promise of ejaculation for the viewer.

The final part of the photo is Shione herself. Her head is tilted back, her mouth parted and her eyes open & watching the cock: she is eager for her next meal. Likewise her hands do not hang limply but frame her breasts. We can imagine her hands pushing together and sliding forward until her thumb and forefinger lock around her nipples, already hard with sexual excitement. This is not a job for her: she enjoys cocks, she enjoys cum; we needn’t worry about her orgasm as she is content experiencing ours. And her body position says that the next orgasm will be ours: she only needs to turn her head and she will be kneeling full towards us: kneading her heavy breasts, her upturned face begging.

But the real magic of the photograph is in how, by limiting our view, it transforms the subject. Here’s Shione from a less flattering angle:

via rub my boobs

Alchemy.

…disgusting.

No offense.

via the sol provider

We’re getting closer to seeing some actual unholy nip.

via come girls

Previously on catboyspeaks…

via we are rare and we are mostly men

via we are rare and we are mostly men

via the sol provider

And as a special bonus, here’s another couple getting ready to set-up for the previous position:

via lup la oi

Prep work (via urban sex brigade)

“For me?” (via urban sex brigade)

Possibly fake (via seriously, girlcocks?)

For your personal exploration

Bringing you news as it happens has always been part of the catboyspeaks.com mission, which is why we’re proud to bring you this story from summer, 2002:

In a sample of sexually active college females, condom use, as an indirect measure of the presence of semen in the reproductive tract, was related to scores on the Beck Depression Inventory. Not only were females who were having sex without condoms less depressed, but depressive symptoms and suicide attempts among females who used condoms were proportional to the consistency of condom use. For females who did not use condoms, depression scores went up as the amount of time since their last sexual encounter increased. These data are consistent with the possibility that semen may antagonize depressive symptoms and evidence which shows that the vagina absorbs a number of components of semen that can be detected in the bloodstream within a few hours of administration.

Gallup GG Jr, Burch RL, Platek SM. Does semen have antidepressant properties? Arch Sex Behav. 2002 Jun;31(3):289-93

As I already prefer to shoot inside–or outside and then have her lick it up–these findings do nothing to change my personal proclivities. But I understand there may be some readers who do not enjoy cum, so I have gone in search of more evidence of the benefits of semen.

My research reveals bad news for those who dislike cum entirely: it is good for you and if you don’t have it you will probably die unhappy and alone. But it also has good news for those who simply dislike both non-barrier birth control and abortions: anecdotal evidence indicates that cum’s mood-boosting effects work just as well through the skin and hair:

via bizarre bazaar

via reddit

In other news, I am offering my services as a free-lance cum dispenser. I have over a decade and a half of experience in the field and eat a lot of fruit. CV & References available upon request.

The unlimited freedom of illustrated smut allows the artist to create the perfect scene. It starts with a woman both beautiful and wanton:

via not safe for work

Then adds huge tits:

via paint me the picture

via paint me the picture

via paint me the picture

The next thing to exaggerate are the dicks:

via paint me the picture

And clits:

via paint me the picture

(Or maybe dicks instead of clits):

via seriously, girlcocks?

via paint me the picture

Perfect!

Although these are all rather fantastical, none are impossible to achieve in real life. There are horny women with huge tits & clits. There are men with giant dicks. There are even women with 3″ nipples and a giant shaved dongs crammed into their yellow bikini bottoms. That’s why I’m glad Japan exists:

via not safe for work

Japan: one-upping perverts since at least 1814.