Unsexy hipsters

January 31st, 2011 § 0

But that is some nice flooring
With no internet to educate them on proper technique, they repeatedly engaged in the world’s least satisfying 69. (via ducodubo)

With all due respect.

Imprecision

January 30th, 2011 § 0

"OMG!  This tape starts at 4 inches!"
via large penis party

Our society will never progress if we can’t even master the art of measuring cocks. Without a solid baseline how are we supposed to tell if our hormone emulsified drinking water is increasing wang size? Amphibians have a much easier tell: they respond by become hermaphrodites.

But I admit, I’m part of the problem. I cheat by quoting my size in obscure units. Did you know my cock’s 1.7×109 angstroms long?

17 fathoms to the hog’s head,
Catboy

Sex can be awkward #22: The awkwardness of penis

January 29th, 2011 § 1

CUM EXITS HERE ->
Too inky (via show your dick)

9cm of flacid power
Too dinky (via measure your cock)

FRESH
Too piggy (via large penis party)

"Yeah, that's right, I'm pulling my balls back between my butt cheeks.  Also, I oil my chest.  Check out my potted grass!"
Too WTF? Is that a strangly long thin wiener that pinches in the middle then dog-legs to the left? Or did someone fail at Photoshop? (via large penis party)

Facial expression #42

January 28th, 2011 § 0

“Oh jeepers! That sure is a big ding-a-ling in my patootie!”

That man loves him some bracelets
via innocent look

Sex can be awkward #21

January 27th, 2011 § 0

No comment necessary.

Jerk that fuckin' squirrel off
via no panties allowed

I suspect alcohol was involved. I can only hope the law was too because I would love to read this police report.

Fantastic Mams 26: the girl next door…

January 26th, 2011 § 0

…you know, the one with the big hooters?

Were that I were 13, she were my babysitter, and I had a quiet room in which to beat my dick 'til it were raw
via come girls

Buttholes: two specimens for review

January 26th, 2011 § 2

That's a lot of inner labia
“Puckered” (via just for fun)

OMG, it's full of stars
“Haute couture” (via just for fun)

PSA time

January 25th, 2011 § 0

...but watch the nails
via fum on her case

Fake friends show me their scrotums
via seriously, i can haz boobs?

Food & sex: the champagne of cum

January 24th, 2011 § 2

I applaud Korbel’s new viral marketing campaign; Milk has been doing it for years (example).

Would have been more topical on New Year's I guess
via 8=D

Sex can be awkward #20

January 23rd, 2011 § 0

I misspoke, I meant "Sex can be awesome"
via stuff my cock likes…

I want to hear the story from the point of view of the guy on the boat: “And then her hand just fucking disappeared! It was crazy!”

Where am I?

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